Happy Birthday! Don't worry, age is just a number... a really high one in your case.
You're not old, you're a classic! And classics are expensive. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! I was going to make an age-related joke, but I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
Congratulations on being born a long, long time ago.
Happy Birthday! May your Facebook wall be filled with messages from people you barely know.
You've reached the age where your back goes out more than you do. I hope your birthday is as wild as you can manage before your 9 PM bedtime. Cheers to you!
Happy Birthday to someone who is forever young... at heart. The rest of you, not so much.
I got you a birthday gift: I didn't tell anyone your real age. You're welcome.
Happy Birthday! Remember, age gets better with wine. Lots and lots of wine.
They say wisdom comes with age. You must be the wisest person I know. Happy Birthday to my incredibly ancient and wise friend!
Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as leveling up. And you're at a really high level. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! At our age, "getting lucky" means finding your car in the parking lot.
I would have baked you a cake, but I was afraid of setting off the smoke alarm with all those candles. Have a great birthday!
Happy Birthday! You're one year closer to getting the senior discount.
You know you're old when the candles cost more than the cake. Hope you have a great day, you old fossil!
Happy Birthday! You're at the perfect age: old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
Let's be honest, you're not aging gracefully. You're aging with a lot of sarcasm and inappropriate humor, which is way better. Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! I hope you have as much fun today as you did before you had all those responsibilities.
Forget the past, you can't change it. Forget the future, you can't predict it. Forget the present, I didn't get you one.
Happy Birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook notification.
On your birthday, I thought you'd appreciate a little space. So I didn't sign the card too close to the other names. You're welcome.
Happy Birthday! Welcome to the age where you grunt when you bend over. It's a rite of passage.
You're not aging, you're just fermenting. And you're turning into some high-quality stuff. Happy Birthday!
Another year older, but are you any wiser? I guess we'll find out the next time you try to do something "fun." Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up again.
Congrats on another trip around the sun! I hope it wasn't too tiring. You're not as young as you used to be.
Happy Birthday! I was going to write a sentimental poem, but I figured you'd appreciate cash more. (I didn't get you that either).
They say age is a state of mind. So, try to remember where you left yours. Happy Birthday!